Friday, October 15, 2010

hi, my name is miss fp and I'm a marriage noob

Marriage. It ain't no walk in the park.

I've posted before about how, before the wedding, we didn't honestly believe that marriage would be different in most ways. Pft, we've lived together for 2 years, we've combined our lives as much as possible already. And then a mere few weeks after the wedding, we realized how completely different it really is.

We all know marriage is a few things: it's a big commitment, it's stressful (especially if you go through the process of planning a wedding beforehand), it's not something to be taken lightly.

Somehow, these realizations dawn on me more and more each day.

Sometimes I feel like a marriage pro. Sometimes he and I have conversations that end with both of us feeling like we've got this thing down. And other times, more often than not, I feel like a marriage novice. I gigantic, pathetic, marriage noob. Because it's not easy.

Taking two lives and combining them into one is a tough thing to do. A little, tiny part of me would like to return to the days where there was my life and there was his life and we took each other into consideration but ultimately made our own choices. This little part of my speaks up every time we have a difficult decision to make because making one decision for two people is a toughie. And I'm not taking about whether or not we order pad thai or pizza for supper.

A few days ago, we were going over the monthly budget and I, being the spender that I am, was not satisfied that I couldn't do what I wanted with the money in our bank account. I said something along the lines of "well, it's my life, so I can do what I want". (Childish, I know, but we all have our moments).

And you know what he said? He went all mature on me and said "no, actually, it's our life".

(Sigh) Husbands. Sometimes they're just so full of perspective at the most unfortunate of times.

And he's right. It is our life we're planning. There is no more his life, no more my life. Since the second we signed that piece of paper, it's been our life. Physically, we're two people, but in almost every other way, we may as well be Siamese twins. All the choices either of us makes from what to order for dinner to how we're going to spend our hard-earned money will ultimately affect both of us.

So occasionally I really do lament the fact that I can't be selfish. Let's face it, being selfish is fun.

But so is being married.
So is having your husband remind you that he knows that the life you're planning out is a joint effort, that you're a team and that nothing gets decided until you're both on board.

Okay, maybe it's not fun when you're having a temper tantrum that rivals that of a 3 year old, but a few hours afterward, it's pretty fun.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Giveaway Winner! CSN Stores

.... Shanna, also known as Miss Arkansas Bride!

Congrats! I'll be in contact via e-mail shortly to give you the details on how to claim your prize. Thanks to everyone else who entered!

Friday, October 8, 2010

Holidays Shmolidays

(First of all, don't forget to enter the giveaway I'm hosting for your chance to win $45 from CSN Stores)

Second of all, with the holiday season fast approaching upon us (yeah, that's right... in case you haven't realized, it's coming fast; I just saw my first Christmas commercial today... plus, us Canadians will be giving thanks this weekend), I've been thinking more and more about how the husband and I are going to handle the family situation we've got going.

It was hard enough before we were even together to see everyone we love during that oh-so special time of year, mom's side, dad's side, and trying to coordinate everyone's schedules was insane. Thankfully, we had our parents to deal with that for us since they were the ones sorting our who is coming over when.

But now that we had to go and grow up, plus get married, our problem has doubled. Now we're trying to squeeze in 4 families. Mom's side, dad's side x 2!

And even though there's usually some overlapping when our parents have people over so it's not too bad, trying to manage our time between both sides for thanksgiving, Christmas eve, Christmas day, boxing day and new years... well, it's enough for me to hate what once was my favorite time of year. Only not really, 'cause I don't have it in me to hate the holidays. But you get the idea.

Before we were in a serious relationship, it wasn't that weird for me to be absent from his family gatherings to attend stuff with mine, or vice versa. Two years ago, it got a little more complicated when we moved in together and really wanted to be together all the time, especially during the holidays. Then last year, it got even more complicated because we were engaged. And this year, we'll have been married for 6 months by the time Dec 26th rolls around, so the complications are even greater.

At this point in our relationship, it would seem kind of odd for us to show up to whatever family functions either side is hosting without our spouse. And that worries me slightly, because parting ways so we could spend enough time with our respective families used to be the only way we could manage this whole mess.

To make matters worse, I'm still not sure how we're even going to handle family gatherings on his side since his brother openly discouraged him from marrying me a day before our wedding on Facebook. Mr. FP hasn't talked to his brother since and I have absolutely no desire to be in the same room with him at this point...

Jeez, it's only October and this is already such a big deal. Maybe only in my head right now, but it might be an uphill battle from here.

Maybe I'll just spend the next 3 months praying that our families don't happen to schedule anything on the same night.

Wishful thinking? Maybe.

Okay, definitely. But I'm stickin' to it.

Man, being a grown up sucks sometimes.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Giveaway! $45 from CSN Stores

If you haven't already heard of CSN Stores and their ridiculously extensive collection of online stores.... well, now you have.

In their 200+ stores, these folks have everything from upholstered dining chairs to decorative pillows to one of the largest selections of cookware I've ever seen. If you haven't been over to their site directory, you can find it here. Seriously. Go.

For any of you who are getting ready to move into a new place or for those of you who want to spruce up the old homestead, this collection is an invaluable resource.

And to help you guys out a little, I'm happy to have been given the chance to host a giveaway for a $45 gift code that can be used at any of CSN Store's 200+ stores!

How to enter:

1) Leave your name/nickname/e-mail or some sort of identifying feature in the comments below (I need to be able to contact you via e-mail for you to claim your prize).

2) Become a follower of my blog to enter a second time.

3) Enter a third time by re-posting this giveaway on your own blog and leaving a comment with a link to your post.

4) Enter a forth time by Tweeting/Facebook-ing/social networking the contest and leaving a comment with a link.

Make sure to leave a comment for each entry (ie. one when you leave your name, another if you become a follower etc.).

Entries good until 7 a.m. Monday (October 11th) morning.

Happy entering and good luck!

Friday, October 1, 2010

one day at a time

Remember a long time ago, a few days before our wedding, when I said that I was desperately trying to reduce my obsession with wedding inspiration? And then, a day later, remember how I failed?

Yeah, well, we've been married a while now and I'm still addicted.
It's pathetic.

For the amount of wedding inspiration I still see on a daily basis, I feel like I need to have another wedding. (Ha, as if Mr. FP would ever allow that.)

Every time we drive by the local dress store or I see an ad for a wedding vendor, I secretly harbor the desire to plan another wedding. Funny thing is, had you asked me whether or not I ever wanted to plan another wedding on June 25th, I would have laughed in your face.

Then cry and hyperventilate because I was so nervous and anxious.

Thankfully, for those of you who are still in the midst of wedding planning bliss (or terror), there's plenty of resources to make your lives a little easier.

Something that we didn't even consider during our wedding is the idea of attending wedding events where all the wedding vendors from the area gather together to show off their awesomeness.

We didn't exactly need to attend a ton of wedding shows because we had a limited amount of vendors considering the fact that our venue was owned by my family (and, let's face it, Nana is no vendor), but for the majority of couples, dealing with wedding vendors is a reality. And looking back, some of these bridal tradeshows could have been exceedingly useful to us while we were panicking about tent rentals, portable toilets, and catering companies.

On the plus side, I've got a few girlfriends who are well on their way to wedding planning and I can always tag along with them to the wedding events I never got to experience during our wedding planning.

Now all I need is a cover story for Mr. FP. If he found out I was immersing myself in wedding land again, he might have a heart attack.