productivity

As we get closer and closer to the wedding, each weekend seems less and less like a weekend. With Mr. FP working full time, it's hard to get stuff done through the week. Especially considering the fact that he doesn't have a 9 to 5 job.

I had a small panic attack when he recently told me that his shift at work had been changed for the month of June and that he would be working 12:30 - 8:30 pm. Um, how the heck are we supposed to get anything done? was the first thing to run through my head. That was followed shortly by a mind heart attack as the concept really sank in. Thankfully, the whole ordeal ended well as he was able to find someone to switch with. I'm glad the wedding card works so well with his co-workers, otherwise I might have called his boss myself. Considering all the travel and transportation of things that needs to happen between here and the cottage before June 26th, him working until 8:30 just wasn't going to work.

So we may have avoided complete disaster, but the wedding still seems like a full time job. And when there's stuff that requires both of us, the weekends are pretty much our only option. Thankfully, we were able to make this weekend a productive one. Well, at least half of it was. Productivity wasn't really on my mind on Sunday as my mom's co-worker/family of the family threw me a bridal shower at her house. That day was full of good food, awesome people and amazing presents. We got 3 sets of dishes which we've desperately been needing since we've been using the ones my parents didn't need after they replaced their own set. They're blue and green and so, so, pretty. But not too pretty, Mr. FP reminds me. Gender neutral is key, apparently. And these are perfect. And with matching placemats, napkins, centerpiece and wine glasses, we're going to have to throw a dinner party or two sometime soon.

While I was "busy" at the shower, the boy was left to his own devices. Remember that list Mr. FP started? Well, he crossed off nearly half of the items on Sunday. Albeit, things get added every day, but it was still a big accomplishment. He was able to pick up his suit, hire a musician for the ceremony, confirm delivery for the rentals and visit with his "best lady".

But the best news of all from this weekend is that we got to see our venue! After months of being closed, the cottage was opened for the season last month. And with the amazing weather we've been having lately, things are progressing much faster as far as nature goes this year. Flowers are in full bloom and the grass is perfectly green which often doesn't happen until mid-June. We were nervous about seeing the property because, after all the rain last summer, the ground had been turned basically to mush and mud. Obviously, that wouldn't make such great conditions for a wedding ceremony, so I spent the winter praying that the ground would be solid enough for the wedding to work. Thank goodness it worked out and the ground is as solid as it should be, so we have our choice of locations for the ceremony.




{click images to enlarge}

Right now, we're debating whether or not we want to keep it closer to the cottage or right next to the beach. The beach would provide an awesome backdrop for photos, but if it's particularly sunny that day, our guests will have no shade. On the other hand, I'm worried that the area closer to the cottage won't provide enough lighting for good photos at 3 in the afternoon when the ceremony is scheduled. Clearly, that's a question for our pretty photographer, so we'll see.

For the moment though, we're just content in knowing that we won't have to sport rubber boots along with our wedding attire!

a racehorse for a husband

As I mentioned in my last post, I am a list maker. Lists keep me calm in times of stress because for me, there's something soothing about seeing everything I have to do compiled into a little list. It may only be psychological, but lists simplify the craziness in life. And this has definitely been the case for the wedding. I currently have 4 to-do lists going. They range everywhere from "things to buy" to "things to make" to "things that need to get done this week". It's a finely honed system that I've perfected throughout the insane process of planning final papers and exams for university.

So clearly, I'm a list person.

Mr. FP, on the other hand, is not. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen him make a list. Since he went directly from living with his parents to living with me, most of the lists he's been involved in have been made by me. Although he doesn't make them himself, he's an excellent list follower, and I personally believe that it's how he works best. Maybe it's a little of my Type A rubbing off on this 100% Type B man, but he now loves lists. Seeing everything that needs to get done, whether it's the weekly grocery run or a packing list for vacation, seems to help him focus and eases the frustration that comes when things get forgotten.

So, although I never thought I'd be one of "those brides" who assigned her groom with specific tasks, we made a wedding to-do list for him today. Unlike one of "those brides", however, there was a discussion behind the creation of the list and in no way, shape, or form did I simply assign him with things and tell him to go at it. For the most part, the list is compiled of things that he would've been handling by himself anyway. Things like getting a musician, picking up his suit and making sure the guys have something to wear are his areas of expertise anyway. In spite of this, however, many of the things that we knew he'd take care of haven't been getting done in recent weeks.

Yesterday, I realized why.
During one of our many "what has to get done before the wedding discussions", he seems overwhelmed as I brought up things that he's completely forgotten about. Key word being "forgotten". He had every intention of getting this shtuff done but he's a notorious forgetter.

In the beginning of our relationship, I used to think he intentionally didn't do things and simply blamed his lack of productivity on his memory. For a Type A organizer like me, it was impossible to understand how things didn't get done simply because he forgot about them. I mean, HOW could he forget about something critical like picking up some milk on his way home from work?!?

After many incidents and many discussions, I soon realized that we just think different ways. Yeah, I know what you're thinking: "Well, duh". I know, I know, that's such an obvious conclusion to make. But his unique personality isn't something that I'd ever encountered in my life, or at least, I hadn't encountered it as intimately as I did with him. Looking back on it, I feel insanely guilty for being upset when he simply forgot. And I'll tell you why. With the help of a simply analogy. For me, it's easy to remember all the tasks I need to complete, multitasking comes easy to me.

He, on the other hand, is a racehorse. Like a racehorse with blinders, he sees one thing in front of him and its usually the thing that's most memorable while everything else on the side gets forgotten. I might ask him to stop at the grocery store for milk, the post office for stamps and then to pick up some dinner before heading home. Thus far, you can guarantee that the dinner will be secure and that he'll come home, but I guarantee you either the milk or the stamps will be forgotten. Pick one, any one. It doesn't matter, but it will be at least one. Like a racehorse, he sees what's directly in front of him.

As frustrating as this can be, the solution is simple: give the man a list and he'll pass with flying colors. Don't ask me why it took me so long to realize that this simple rule applies to the wedding as well, because I have no idea how it only happened yesterday. But boy, oh boy, am I thankful it came to me when it did. Because since then, he's been checking off things like a mad man. Which, in the last month (eeek!) before the wedding, is the real blessing in this whole mess.

wedding-planning induced nightmares

Ugh, remember when I said that being done school would free up more of my time so I could be a better blogger? Well, I lied. A big fat huge lie is what that was.

Things have been crazy around here. Crazy but productive. All those little details that I had so much time to think about when I started blogging back in December are taking up 95% of my time. Thankfully, this means that we've been able to cross tons of stuff off our wedding to-do list. Things like the cupcake tower, cake topper, registry at Sears and the program layout that have been hanging over our heads are well on their way to completion. And let me tell you, it's a satisfying experience to open up our wedding to-do list online and see more things crossed off as each day goes by.

Amid all this productive activity though, I have become a crazy person. Details run through my head all day and when it comes to sleep, the wedding has begun to invade my dreams.

Yep, that's right. I'm dreaming of our wedding.

But not in a good way.

It started simple enough way back when as one of the first dreams involved a groom who didn't show up because he forgot what time the wedding was. Simple, right? Most brides dream about a groom-less wedding. Perfectly normal.

Unfortunately, that was the tip of the iceberg. Since then I've had more disturbing dreams. And the disturbing nature of these dreams continues to rise as we get closer to the big day. Here's a few of my favorites:

1) My dress arrives and it's an odd shade of gold. To make matters worse, it's covered in tiny holes which causes it to bear an uncanny resemblance to Swiss cheese. Plus, it has a hood. Yep, a hood. Pockets on a wedding dress are one thing, but a hood?!

2) My brother, who is doubling as a groomsmen, shows up in Renaissance themed clothing after being instructed to buy a simple pair of black pants and a white shirt. Turns out poofy sleeves and tights aren't that flattering on him.

3) Having forgotten to get directions to the cottage/wedding venue, our photographer isn't able to show up until half way through the reception. And although we recognize her absence before the ceremony even begins, we never put two and two together and ultimately fail to ask any one else to photograph anything.

4) The flowers are picked up from the florist but they're entirely the wrong color and completely different from the types we wanted. In spite of this, I decide to take the time to make the bouquets instead of asking the florist to fix the problem.


For the most part, these dreams are motivated by my worry that we won't get everything done on time because we 1) forget or 2) run out of time. Things like not giving directions to the photographer and double checking flower choices with the florist are just two of the thousands of details that consume my brain lately. Thankfully, our photographer is a genius and I don't much care for flowers anyway.

But even so, you know you could well on your way to some trouble when your subconscious is screaming at you like mine is. This is what to-do lists are for. Actually, I should change that. This is what insanely detailed to-do lists are for. For the past couple of days I've begun writing every minor detail I can think of so nothing gets forgotten. Everything from pens for our guest book to scoops for the candy buffet.

Now, realistically, this is a ton of bull. I will forget something. Things that we wanted probably won't come to fruition. As micromanage-y as the list sounds, it's my only saving grace. It gives me an outlet through which I can find a small sense of comfort because amid all the wedding craziness that is bound to happen within the next month, at least I know I won't forget the most important of things.

Do I think it'll allow me to achieve wedding perfection? Um, hell no. But I'm a list maker by nature, so at least it'll help me stay organized and give me ever-busy brain a couple hours of rest. Which is exactly what I'll be needing one day soon, I'm guessing.

There's also one more thing that provides me with a small bit of comfort amidst all this craziness... the wedding-planning induced nightmare have also begun to infect Mr. FP's brain. He had his first one last month. Misery loves company.