brides aren't all like that, I swear!

I like inserting myself into the cyber conversations of others. So I'm going to do it again because the ladies at A Practical Wedding and Cupcake Wedding have brought up a point that simply drives me batty.

Wedding sexism. Grr. I hate it. There is nothing worse than planning a wedding as a bride when you're surrounded by people trying to remind you that -- out of the two people in your committed relationship -- you're the only who's happy about the wedding and excited to be getting married. Because, apparently, there's something about being a man which makes males inherently against marriage and disdainful towards weddings? I guess that's the logic people use to come up with these gems...

• I've heard people tell Mr. FP that he should start his own blog to fight against the opinions on mine.

• I've had close friends criticize our relationship because they perceive me as a control freak who does everything her own way.

• I've been sitting at a table with Mr. FP and had a future family member stare right at me and say "I know there's going to be plenty wedding-related breakdowns in the future, and that's okay, it happens" (during which time I'm thinking: "um, shouldn't you be looking at him too?")

I know a lot of people are brainwashed by the propoganda that the wedding industry puts out about how brides are crazy and grooms are scared, but honestly, they need to start thinking outside the box. There is nothing that erks me more when people make assumptions about our relationship. Because honestly... *insert angry, eccentric lady voice here* they don't knooooooow me. And they don't know us. Not really. No one in the world knows that except for us.

And the major opinion of these people seems to be that I'm a control freak bride who knows what she wants and will do anything to get it. Whether I have to beat Mr. FP with a newspaper, whine enough to get what I want or trick him into it. And of course, he's perceived as a scared dog running away with his tail between his legs desperately trying to avoid me, trying not to talk so as to anger me.

Not only does this misconception apply to me, but it seems to be a popular opinion of many brides. And I don't know about most of you, but for me, it couldn't be farther from the truth. Yes, of course, I have my control freak moments. I sometimes like to say that as long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I'm totally flexible.

But the thing you learn pretty quickly from being in a relationship is that you can't be like that all the time. There's two people in this. Which means compromise. No way around it. And nothing brings this out better than wedding planning. And nothing proves our relationship dynamic better than wedding planning.

For us, our wedding is like our lives. I stress way too much and he calms me down by reassuring me. I worry about stuff, and he doesn't. I have strong opinions a lot of the time, and he usually doesn't. I make a lot of the decisions because he is a laid-back, go with the flow kind of guy who's usually happy with whatever decision is made.

I swear! I ain't lying! You can ask him right now and he will confirm it. In fact, I just did. Because sometimes I worry that this isn't the truth, sometimes I do doubt the degree of his laid back-ness and I worry that he wants to make more decisions than he does. But he swears that isn't true.

I have a blog because I like to write and I'm a lot more interested in the details of our wedding and sharing the experience with fellow brides than he is (obviously, since he's not even a bride, haha). What people don't seem to get is that the blog chronicles OUR wedding, it includes many of his opinions, dislikes and likes because our wedding has been a mutual decision. Nothing about our wedding is a solo act. I make decisions because he always tells me to go with what I want because it'll make me happy.

The second he has an opinion, he expresses it and we have a discussion about it.
He's vetoed plenty of things ... the color yellow, my dog Pearl wearing a dress, and Hello Kitty anything (please don't judge me).

{I'll give you the source, but please, please don't buy this}

And he's been the executor of many choices ... Mario & Peach cake toppers, Lebanese food, and writing our own vows.

{source}

As much as I would probably love to have everything be exactly the way I want it (um, hello, what human wouldn't?) it'll never be worth sacrificing our relationship. I just wish people would start to understand that not all brides are desperate to spend money, whine to get their own way and push aside their groom to have their own perfect day. In our case, people misinterpret his laid back attitude with cowardice and my decision making with control freak complex. He'll be fine either way for the most part, whether the centerpieces are purple or blue, if the flowers are daisies or roses and he always tells me that at the end of our wedding day he's still going to be married to me... *sigh*. He's so dreamy.