Monday, February 1, 2010

I'll be a (paper bag) princess at our wedding...

I hate being the center of attention. It's the bane of my existence and it's been that way as long as I can remember. Since I was a kid, I hated birthday parties because it meant me having to open a ton of presents in front of the people who carefully spent their time and money picking things out for me. But, birthday parties are only once a year and they don't last long so they're not a big deal.

You know what kind of event does last a long time and is a big deal? Our wedding. So, naturally, I've been having a panic attack about how to deal with being the center of attention since the day we got engaged. I feel so bad because every time I think of our wedding day, which is a mere 144 days from now, I feel a little nauseous. And by a little, I mean a lot. And by a lot, I mean if I think about it for more than 5 minutes at a time I probably would actually vomit.

Okay, well, I should clarify. It's not the entire wedding day that scares me. It's the walking down the aisle part, the ceremony part and the vows part. Other than that, I'm good. Which is why it makes me happy to realize that the aspects of my wedding day that scare me the most will be over within 20 minutes. Good news for me.

Plus, early in the wedding planning process, I read a great article by Sara from 2000dollarwedding which has some wonderful tips about how to remedy this situation if, like me, you're likely to break out into hives as you're walking down the aisle. One thing that Sara and Matt eliminated, which I really admire, is the entire walk down the aisle. They started mingling with their guests even before the ceremony started so there wasn't any nervous tension. Unfortunately for me, I'm a sucker for the walk down the aisle and I want photographic evidence of the first time Mr. FP sees me from a distance on the day of (did I mention my favorite romantic comedy is 27 Dresses?) so that's not really an option for us. I'll just have to make sure I have plenty of paper bags to hyperventilate into that morning...

However, we will be eliminating other events which place an unwanted amount of attention on the bride and groom... like the receiving line, a grand entrance into the reception, a first dance, the garter toss and cake cutting. And now that I think about it, it's probably a good thing some members of our families don't read this blog because most of them (and maybe even some of you) would probably be thinking... well, what wedding related activities are left?

And that's a valid point, we will be eliminated a lot of wedding traditions but I know it'll work out because these traditions simply aren't important to us. So why waste the short amount of time on our wedding day doing things just because that's how people have been doing them for a million years? I'd rather spend it doing important things like eating, talking and laughing with our guests. And I think a lot of our guests will enjoy that too. Hell, we're not even having a formal head table in order to make sure we can spend more time with people at the wedding. I've always found that head tables which separate the bride and groom from everyone else at the wedding seem somewhat boring and awkward. And personally, I think it opens the bride and groom up to having far too many photos of them taken as they eat. Um.... ew. Furthermore, I may love Mr. FP with everything in me, but I get to spend the rest of my life with him so why would I want to isolate myself from the people closest to us just to sit by myself with him? It's nice like it'll be a quiet, romantic dinner because, duh, we'll still be at a reception. I want to enjoy our wedding guests while they're with us so we'll be seated (with our wedding party) at a round table which matches the rest of the guest seating. It's all about the camouflage.

Although I do realize that it is our wedding, so it's a given that a certain amount of attention will be on us. And while we're doing our best to minimize being the center of attention, we'd basically have to cancel the wedding in order to stop entirely free ourselves from the attention of others. But at the same time, for us, it's important that neither of us is stressed out on the day of. And if eliminating some unnecessary traditions is the way to have a stress-free wedding day, then I'm all for it. Of course, people are coming to our wedding but I think we prefer to think of it more like a big family reunion that happens to have a wedding.


Born to be Mrs. Beever said...

You know what's funny? I am a leader / teacher / speaker at my church. Over the past 10 years I have led countless small groups of young ladies, taught the high school group at our church and spoken in front of the thousands of people at our church about my life. I sometimes get a little nervous right before I go up in front of a large group, but as soon as I start talking, I'm totally fine. Fast forward to our wedding in just about 75 days - the thought of walking down the aisle and being up there to say our vows - well, it makes me feel like I'm going to pass out and vomit at any moment. And these are my friends and family - people I know! People who know I am a loud mouth, extravert who doesn't mind being the center of what is it about our wedding that freaks us out so much? Girl, I feel ya on this one, big time!

Anonymous said...

I love being the center of attention so I am afraid I cannot relate. lol.
You'll love it, honey, when the day comes.
Or you will be in a love haze and hardly know what it is anyhow!

sera said...

I was right there with you right up until the day. I too hate being the center of attention and hate birthday parties where I have to open all the presents in front of everyone. Ugh it was awful. But let me tell you, once I started walking down the aisle with my dad, it went super fast. All I focused on for that 1 minute was getting down the aisle and then once we were on stage (that's just how it worked out, not what I would have preferred) all I could see was my man. and for half a second our officient. And then it was over. and it was amazing (bla-di-bla bla, but it was). And the other thing that's weird, so many people won't come and bug you precisely because you are the bride. They think you are too busy. Seriously, mix it up. Talk to who you want to, ignore who you have to, no one will mind and it will go so fast it won't be so bad. And you are sharing the spotlight so that helps.

And when you talk to the photographer, make sure they aren't the kind of photographer that would take your pics while you are eating (except for cake of course). Ours totally left us alone while we were eating.

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