it ain't all sunshine and rainbows

Apparently, falling off wedding cloud nine is a growing trend for today. Like Mouse and He-Mouse over at Souris Mariage, not everything is hunky dorry at the Fancy Pants residence.

Oh my gosh, did I seriously just admit that our relationship isn't perfect? Did I imply that maybe, we might possibly disagree sometimes? No way, that could not have happened. That's not what wedding blogs are for! The wedding industry wants us to think that everything about weddings is beautiful and happy. We're not supposed to talk about real relationship issues, we're supposed to talk about pretty cakes and flowy dresses whilst surrounded by bird that sing us to sleep at night. Right?

Um, well no. In fact, forget the phrase "disagree sometimes"... what we do is flat out arguing. That's right, I said it. We argue. And no, the world did not just collapse around us. Why? Because it's perfectly normal to argue.

I've been around couples who maintain that they don't argue. They declare that the worst fight in the entirety of their relationship lasted ten minutes and that the damage was quickly and easily repaired with a hug and a kiss and an "I love you". Personally, I don't think they're human. Because humans argue. Every relationship is put through difficult trials and the healthy ones come out on the other side better than before. Or, I think they may be afraid to admit to their family & friends that their relationship isn't perfect? Why they're scared of this, I may never understand. We've always been open about our fighting and while "trouble-free" couples (and I use the quotations because really, is there such a thing?) sometimes makes me doubt the amount of arguing we do, I know a healthy relationship will have a conflicts.

Honestly, if Mr. FP went more than a week or two without arguing/disagreeing over something, I would be a little worried. With the stress of school, work, money, family and to top it all off, the wonderful wedding we've argued like mad people. We yell, we scream, we go to bed angry, and sometimes he *gasp* ends up sleeping on the couch. And in spite of the myth that if somebody's on the couch, there must be something drastically wrong with the relationship, we're none the worse for wear when it's all said and done.

Last night's argument started with me worrying whether or not some napkins I found at the grocery store would clash with our centerpieces and ended with me crying about how I feel like I'm the only one planning our wedding. My proudest moment? Ah, hell no. But it happens.

I just think it's high time that ladies learn that it's okay to talk about real stuff. It's fine to talk about fighting. It's okay that you and your partner don't agree on everything. And more specifically for brides, it's okay to not think every moment of planning a wedding is blissful. Even better, it's okay to admit that you don't love your wedding.

Thankfully, we have a multitude of couple friends and most do admit to arguing. Which I love. Because it reassures me. Not that I should need reassurance from other people to be secure in our relationship, I know. But if I was constantly surrounded by people who claim they never argue, I would lose it. I would think something was wrong with us. Because the normality of our relationships is usually gauged according to those around us. Either way, I like talking to other people about how much their relationships suck because it gives me hope that we're at least semi-normal. As individuals, we're total freaks. As a couple, we're even more strange. But it's a healthy relationship.

We all have good days and bad days. And, if you're us, sometimes you have days where you need to learn how to avoid napkins that will act as the catalyst to a stupid argument. And clearly, we're still working on that one.