Thursday, January 21, 2010

Actually, It's Our Wedding, Not Yours

After reading this post on A Cupcake Wedding, I realized that it describes exactly how I've been feeling for the last year and a half of planning a DIY Wedding. Okay, I take that back, it's only been a year because although we've been engaged for a year and a half, it took me 6 months to come to my senses and realize I didn't have to hire dozens of people to do things for me.

As many of my previous posts have expressed, I'm embarrassed to say that it took me those 6 months to step away from thinking about our wedding in context to the wedding industry to thinking about it in context of it being... well, OUR wedding. And while I was so proud of myself for this realization, I was bombarded by criticism from people everywhere. While it's easier to ignore the online voices on The Knot boards (I warn you, stay away... stay far, far away), it's not so easy to ignore the voices of your own family members.

When I told family I wanted to make all of the bouquets and boutonnieres myself, I was told that I "really should" hire a florist. When I said I wanted to make the cupcakes myself (in lieu of traditional wedding cake), I was encouraged to hire a baker. When talking about my pre-wedding beauty regimen, I was told (under no uncertain terms, by the way) that I will go to a spa two days before the wedding to get a manicure and pedicure.

Comments like these caused me, like Cupcake, to feel doubtful of myself and question my decisions. Maybe I really was taking on too much. Maybe I really should leave these things up to the professionals, even if it means going over budget.

Oh wait, no I shouldn't. It's so strange, because at the time these doubts are running through my head, they seem totally normal and justified. And then a day or two passes by and I can't believe how foolish I was to doubt my decisions and to doubt our capability to handle this wedding on our own.

Besides, just because we're not hiring professionals in no way implies that we'll be doing it alone. We have tons of family and friends who have been more than willing to help. And while certain people have made it quite plain that they don't agree with our choices, I have to do my best to ignore it (which I'm terrible at, by the way, and the only way I'm managed to retain even an ounce of sanity is thanks to the level-headed Mr. FP). The pleasure I've gotten so far from creating all of the stationery and painting our centerpieces has given such a great sense of pride that (although, yes, it was stressful) I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. And these preliminary examples of our DIY-ing have given me renewed hope that I'll get just as much satisfaction from making my own bouquet and baking the cupcakes that will be enjoyed by our guests. At the end of the day, I don't have to stress about coordinating with a florist, baker, DJ, limo service, caterer or the the lighting designer (for a wedding, seriously?) because they're not a factor for us.

The most amusing part of this whole debacle is that people told me I would stress myself out from taking on so much, yet my main source of stress has come from the wedding industry and disapproving family members and friends ... not from the DIY projects themselves. Haha.

oh, and p.s. tonight we're going to pick up our completed invitations which just arrived from so excited!


Cupcake Wedding said...

Oh, people and their well meaning, but hurtful comments. When will they ever learn?

Thanks for the shout out! Very sweet.

Miss C said...

It is crazy isn't it? People actually think they are HELPING by criticising every decision you make.

I want to do quite a few things myself but I really worry that if I leave too much until the day before the wedding I'll end up more stressed than I need to be, and I really want to relax and enjoy myself. I guess it is just about striking a balance and deciding what you can handle :)

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