In spite of the fact that I would love to remove something so big as this from our to-do list, I'm thrilled that we have the opportunity to personalize every word of our wedding ceremony. The idea that we'll get to say words that mean the world to both of us is super exciting for us both. I can't imagine our ceremony being anything but what expresses us best.
On the other hand, the concept of expressing our inner most feelings for one another in front of 80 people scares the crap out of me. Thankfully, this feeling is shared by many brides, including Britt from Bowie Bride who wrote this amazing post on The Broke-Ass Bride this week.
Essentially, it expresses every thought I've ever had. I'm a private person who wants an extremely personalized ceremony because I know I'd regret having any other kind of wedding. And even though I know we're making the right choice, it's still scary.
Thankfully, we're trying to calm our nerves by taking some of the steps that Britt mentioned in her post. Instead of spending the entire night before the wedding apart, we've decided to spend both the night and morning before our wedding together. No silly superstitions here. Mr. FP's only request is that he not see me all fancified before the walk down the aisle. Translation: he'll be there all night and most of the day (since we're getting married at 3pm) before our wedding to calm my nerves. Because honestly, as much as I love my girls, he's the only one that knows how to calm me down and the only person who can make me feel truly relaxed.
I've already expressed this idea to some family and friend and I've already received some criticism, but I couldn't care less. Why would I want to have a sleepless night and a stressful morning in the hours leading up to our wedding simply because that's what tradition dictates? Oh right, I wouldn't. So we're altering tradition to fit us. Honestly, that pretty much sums up our entire wedding. Things that don't work for one or both get chucked and the rest can stay.
A few more great tips from Britt:
- Choose your officiant wisely. Someone who can run a show, and ease tension if shiz hits the fan. Someone you have a connection with. Someone who knows you and your partner as a couple. Someone you trust.
- Don’t get married on a stage. Instead, make the altar area as intimate as possible. There may be 150 pairs of eyes on you, but it won’t feel as intimidating if you create a space that feels like it’s just you, the one you love, and the person who’s marrying you.
- Pick songs leading up to your processional that calm you. The song I always listen to that cools my nervous groove is “Dear Prudence” by The Beatles. Something about that song just makes me breathe easy. Choose the song that does that for you and listen to it on an iPod, or go ahead and play it for the audience before you come out.
Obviously, regardless of how many precautions we take, most of us brides will be nervous on the big day. Especially if we're having a highly personalized ceremony. But like I said before, I wouldn't have it any other way. Having traditional vows might make me slightly less nervous and I'd probably be able to maintain my composure better, but I'd rather be a blubbering mess of tears than think for one second that we didn't have a wedding ceremony that really expressed us as a couple and the love we share.
So what if I'll need to invest in $60 worth of waterproof makeup and my bridesmaids will have to stuff their dresses with kleenex? I'd say it's a worthy trade-off.